Sunday, 11 May 2008
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Should the media do more to protect marriages and relationships?
Do you think the media has an adverse effect on marriage because it makes it seem so casual and therefore devalues its sanctity? (Think about shows such as “Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire”, "That's Amore!", "Farmer Wants a Wife", etc.)
Also, do you think society as a whole should do something to protect relationships and decrease the divorce rate?
If the music we listen to, the shows/movies we watch, the advertisements we see everywhere, the "idols" we look up to (such as movie stars, millionaires, successful artists, etc.) start portraying the value and meaning of marriage (even through its difficult times) as oppose to the rush of infidelity, the greatness of sex, and other promiscuity, do you think it may be possible to perhaps even slightly reduce the rate of divorces?If we show people that it is okay to have disagreements and even challenging times within a relationship, that it is possible and valuable to actually stick together and work things out, would they more inclined to actually honor the promise they made to each other during their marriage? If we showed more examples of how difficulties can actually be overcome as oppose to how much easier it is to simply just walk away, can we actually help couples overcome tough times?
If we show the honor of staying loyal, true, and honest to each other instead of highlighting promiscuity, and if we show that it is understandable to get tempted but it is much more worth it to stay faithful to your love one, what do you think can happen? If we show that it's not always about me, me, me and satisfying our own selfish needs and desires, if we show that the world can be a better place when you actually become selfless, what will happen?
As a contributor has stated:
“We live in a day and age of "Have it YOUR way RIGHT away....2, and when problems arise, we decide that this isn't what we ordered, and decide to take it back and dispose of it. Love has become shallow, commitment has become what we see TV and the rest of the MSM deliver to us (which, if you look at Hollywood Divorce rates [Liz Taylor on hubby #8 or #9????], are skyrocketingly high and always have been), and God has become a point of mockery, let alone any "vows" we made in front of him. Add to this the fad of "no fault" divorce, and you get why marriage has become -- or is becoming -- passe'...”
- JandJinJapan at http://weblog.xanga.com/SuccessfullyRelate/645488633/why-do-you-think-the-divorce-rate-is-so-high--what-ever-happened-to-the-sanctity-of-marriage.htmlIn other words, do you think that if the media highlight stories and celebrities that honor and work harder for the marriage and show the world that they value and prioritize their family, it can positively influence society?
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Thank you to all of the contributors, especially those who have answered various questions. Your open and honest inputs are inspirations to many. As always, feel free to subscribe, comment, rate the entries (even past ones) as you find appropriate, and/or even suggest questions!
PS. You can find other similar relationship/marriage based questions here.
PPS. Happy Mother's Day!! =]
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Comments (11)
I totally wish visual culture and media culture would reflect a more realistic picture of marriage! I think it would have a HUGE impact on how our society views marriage and how it is valued.
*RANT*
I'm getting a little fed up of trying to blame "the media" for feeding us negative.
I think as individuals we need to take responsibility for what we allow ourselves to be exposed to, and turn the TV off, not only in the bedroom, but in the living room too.
*END OF RANT*
I believe the media does no good "at all" for marriages, but then like "heyyoulady" said we can't possibly blame them if we allow it to influence us. You can always turn the tv off or refuse to accept their views on marriage. We are only influenced by what we spend time thinking and watching.
Very good question. I would love to actually see an answer myself on this one.
It really is difficult to prove that the media affects our behavior without at least some use of statistics, it seems. In order to show a causal link between the media and divorce, you would have to pull up some well-researched statistics. Not only would you have to dig up just ONE, but you would have to dig up multiple ones that have all shown throughout the test of time that some factor in the media (like soap operas that depict a couple fighting non-stop, something to that effect) negatively affects marriages somehow. It seems obvious that the media affects women in that they are now more concerned about their looks than ever due to how they are depicted on tv. Many times they have taken their "concern" to extremes by becoming bulimic.
I suppose I cannot give you a clear answer without researching it first, but I would personally conjecture that shows like this DO negatively affect relationships, due in large part because people conform so easily to the latest trends and fads and are already very easily influenced as it is anyway. But that's conjecture. I do know however that human beings should only spend so much time looking at the television set. I'm trying to get out of that mode of laziness myself.
I would imagine that something like "Trading Spouses" wouldn't be all that harmful unless the two fake spouses fought all the time or something. But living under the same roof with a woman that you're not married to (when your current wife allows it of course) just to see what it's like seems rather harmless by itself... potentially fulfilling, but potentially dangerous depending on the persons involved.
Hope I've helped.
I think it does effect people and their marriages. If the media could not have an effect then they would not spend billions of dollars on advertising! Of course it sways the way people feel. On the other hand, how we act and if we let it effect us is our problem. We are responsible for our own actions, behavior, decisions. There is not enough personal responsiblity taken in our world!
Thanks for the comment on my weblog.
To answer the question you posed -
Personally, I am all for the media's focus on casual marriage, infidelity, etc. I am a avid reader of perezhilton.com - I'm waiting to see if Miley Cyrus becomes the next Britney. I'm hoping for Pam and Jim to have a disagreement in The Office and break up. I get my Gossip Girl fix every Monday evening.
The media's role is about making money through entertainment; they aren't in the business of being role models. It's stupid to say that guns should be banned from all movies; rather, you teach kids that killing people is bad. It's just as stupid to say that infidelity should be banned from all movies; rather, you teach kids about relationships, communication, and etc.
hey thanks for the comment. I was pretty intrigued as well! it was quite uncanny, but like I posted, it was for circus propaganda by some local PETA groups.
interesting post. quite good.
hehe ya they are pretty cute
"In other words, do you think that if the media highlight stories and celebrities that honor and work harder for the marriage and show the world that they value and prioritize their family, it can positively influence society?"
It should but that's not a popular choice to sell millions of magazines and does not rate well on TV. The bottom line for the media is, it's the money that counts most and what will earn them big bucks. So that will not happen. It really starts from the very core of it-- at home, then in school. If parents teach the value of marriage beforehand and also be the best role models for their children, the next generation of people getting married and placing importance on their marriage will be the result, no matter what the outside force like the media throw at them. The best time of teaching values to children are when they are little. They might go astray when they are in school (which should also teach moral values to kids, but sadly, they don't) because of peer pressures; they could stumble in life, but they will definitely would return back to what their parents had taught them when they were kids. If their parents value marriage, their children will do the same. The truth is we become what are parents were in our eyes when we were kids. The parents actions cost consequences; it will either result to a curse or an 'abundant' and morally valued life for their children.
I definiately think the media devalues the sanctity of marriage, and it's horrible
Even when the media trys to put a spin on what THEY think is good they don't even get it right. I can't think of the name of this new show that has just started and I don't plan on watching it...the advertisments make me want to puke, but it's about this family that moves to a different neighborhood in the seventies it looks like and they come in contact with this whole neighbor that their lifestyle is nothing but spouse swaping. It looks like an ALL OUT ATTACK on the family to me. It REALLY wouldn't bother me for the TV never to be turned on. Even some of the shows I like have digs against the family and moral values. Just sad. On your questions, you pretty much answered them yourself. And yes, the media could have an unbelievable effect on family if they portrayed it correctly and how GOD designed it. They the people that like the stuff thats on now would turn the TV off and maybe by not watching the filth themselves have a change of heart and come back and say "well, you know this family stuff IS important" As long as the people running the media now stay in charge, it will only get worse. Sad, just sad!